It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Part 1: The Bird

Well, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. I love the holy trinity - Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years that is. Why? It’s quite simple and should be transparent. Thanksgiving has become all about the Thanksgiving meal. Christmas time brings out the foodie in all of us. New Years gives us an excuse to indulge our inner food demons; after all, the diet starts tomorrow.
So what is it about this time of year that gets the kitchen going? Is it primal? Maybe it’s that primal instinct to fatten up one last time before the cold of winter makes food scarce. Perhaps the free market is to blame. It should be no surprise that there is profit to be made by commercializing the food-holiday connection to this extent. Let’s not let grandma off the hook either - the only thing bigger than food during the holiday season is family (made bigger by the food). What does grandma do with all of these people crowded in her living room? Feed them – that’s what grandmas’ do.
Whatever the reason is, I for one intend to take full advantage, and so should you. After all, why are you even looking at this pitiful blog if not for our shared passion for all things edible? So, for this holiday season, I will give you some insight, tips, tricks, and ideas on how to make it through this festive time with happy bellies and the best smelling house you have ever had.

Thanksgiving, what’s for dinner? I like to stick with the traditional (traditional as in grandma, not Pilgrim). You cannot have Thanksgiving without turkey. And therein lies problem number one. What is the best way to prepare a turkey? Well, that depends. How many people do you need to feed? How much time do you have? How much money are you willing to spend? How comfortable are you in the kitchen? Sure, roasted turkeys are great, but who has the time? Smoked turkeys are even better, but again, the smoking process is time consuming. For me, it doesn’t get any quicker, juicer, tastier, or easier than a fried turkey. Don’t write me off yet – I’m not talking Kentucky fried. Don’t think chicken, think French fry - crunchy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside. Not only does deep frying produce a tender, flavorful, juicy bird, but it does this in a fraction of the time of roasting or smoking. So how does one fry a turkey? With caution, of course. But seriously, I will let you in on the secrets of frying a turkey as long as you follow my 2 simple rules. Rule #1 – NEVER, EVER, attempt to fry a turkey that has not be completely thawed. In addition to being completely thawed, it must also be completely dry, on the outside as well as in the central cavity. Rule #2 – NEVER, EVER, attempt to add or remove the turkey from the oil with the flame on. Always cut the flame prior to adding or removing the turkey. If you are unwilling or unable to follow these rules, please roast or smoke your turkey. If, however, you agree to the 2 rules, read on.
Step #1 – The Bird. Regardless of the cooking method, I always look for a “fresh” turkey. Turkeys labeled “fresh” are not frozen; however, they may have been frozen in the past, so check the label carefully. If you opt to buy a frozen turkey, allow for ample defrost time (about 1 day for every 5 pounds). Defrosting should only be done in the refrigerator (below 40 F). If you are under a time crunch, the turkey can be defrosted submerged in COLD water (30 min for every pound), but you must change out the water every 30 minutes. As you can see, save yourself time and effort by buying a fresh (unfrozen) turkey.
Size matters. I will not buy a turkey over 16 pounds regardless of the cooking method. My favorite size is 12 pounds. As a general rule, figure 1 pound per person. If you need to feed 20 people, I’d get two 12 pound turkeys. Using smaller birds, although not as presentable as one large bird, does give a better overall quality meal – that, however, is another blog. So, we have a fresh 12 pound turkey (or turkeys). What’s next?
Step #2 – The Cooking Apparatus. In order to correctly (and safely) fry the turkey, you will first need the proper equipment. The proper equipment includes the following: a stainless steel stock pot (26 – 32 quarts) with vented lid, a propane burner, a propane tank (full of course), a 12” thermometer (up to 500 F), a perforated poultry rack or steam basket, and a retrieval hook. Luckily, you can get everything, minus the propane tank, as a set; just Google "turkey frying kits." Alternatively, you can purchase an electric turkey frying kit. I don’t mind those at all. As a matter of fact, they tend to be safer and a little more fool proof due to the electronic temperature control; however, I strongly recommend not using this type of fryer in the house. Please, fry your turkey (propane or electric) outside, in a wide open space (not in the garage or under an overhang). I still like the propane setup because I can use it to boil, not just fry (of course I’m not talking about boiling turkeys).
Step #3 – The Oil. I like to use peanut oil. It has a high smoke point and I love the flavor. I know that there are people out there with allergies to peanuts. You should always be aware of this. In most cases, the protein in the peanut that most people are allergic to does not make it into the oil itself; however, we are talking about a potential life threatening situation here. If you don’t know for sure if everyone is okay with peanut oil, use something else. What else is there? A lower cost alternative to peanut oil is the peanut oil / soy blend - again, not so good for peanut and soy allergies. I have used cotton seed oil in the past. I don’t like it simply because you cannot reuse it. Canola oil works okay; however, it does not have the same flavor as the peanut oil, and you really have to watch the temperature. Never use olive oil or vegetable oil – the smoke points are just too low. Use peanut oil if you can; otherwise, try cottonseed, safflower, or sunflower oils.
How much oil do you need? This part is very important. Fortunately, if you get a turkey frying kit, the instructions will let you know how much oil you need. Also, there will be a max fill line on the pot. If you didn’t buy a kit, don’t have instructions, or don’t have a max fill line, you are going to have to do a little homework. First, take your fully thawed turkey and put it in the pot. Next, add water to the pot until it is about ¾ full (the turkey should be fully submerged). Now, remove the turkey and measure the water (remember to clean and completely dry the turkey and pot). That is how much oil you will need. If you want to avoid this homework, get a kit and defer to the manufacturers instructions.
Step #4 – Bird Prep. Technically, all you need to do is thaw and dry the bird, but then why go through all this trouble and not season it? After the turkey has been thawed, pat it dry both inside the central cavity and the outside skin. I like to inject mine with a cooked Cajun marinade. Again, you can Google "injectable marinades." You don’t have to inject it, but why wouldn’t you? Next, to add some crisp and flavor to the skin, rub it liberally with a seasoning rub – use your favorite. Allow the turkey to come to room temperature before frying.
Step #5 – Time to Fry. Setup your cooking rig in a wide open outdoor space. Please have a kitchen fire extinguisher at hand. Heat you oil until it reaches between 375 and 400 F. While the oil is heating, place the turkey on the rack or in the basket. When the oil reaches between 375 and 400 F, turn off the flame. That’s right, shut off the flame completely. SLOWLY lower the turkey into the oil. It will pop, hiss, and steam, so make sure you have hand and arm protection (oven mitt, long sleeves). Once the turkey is in the pot and fully submerged, put the lid back on and relight the burner.
Maintain a temperature of 350 F. You should fry the turkey for 3 ½ minutes per pound. That’s right; a 12 pound bird will take 42 minutes. What I do is put a probe thermometer in the breast and wait until it hits 160 F. After 3.5 minutes per pound or 160 F in the breast, turn off the flame again. That’s right, shut off the flame completely. SLOWLY remove the turkey from the oil.
Step #6 – Eat. Let the turkey rest for 10 to 30 minutes after cooking, covered loosely with aluminum foil. Carve and eat. (Carving is yet another blog)

Up next … you can’t have turkey without stuffing. Or can you?